a single dose of soma

     At first this was going to be a witch v vampire novel.  After writing about a hundred words I decided to change the story and to start writing a "memoir-esque" novel.

-Excerpt 1-

     It was the summer of fruition.  All the things I had sown had grown.  Trees of knowledgable apples, regretful pomegranites, and sentimental oragnes.

     We knew that summer was different.  Something had swept into town on the tail of a cumulonibus cloud and setteled in.  It hung in the atmosphere making the distant horizon of the Gulf look sleepy, dreamlike.  It condensed in the water making it hot.  Whatever it was, it clung to whatever it could find and turned it into summer.

     I didn't sleep in on that first day of summer break.  My sleep had been restless.  Even my dreams had a faint, effervescent quality as if they languished as soon as they began.  I pryed myself from beneath the warm security of the quilt and, with a mixture of reluctance and static anticipation, dressed.

     Perhaps nothing had really changed.  Maybe it was the same as when you buy a new car, and only then do you notice how many of them are on the road.  Maybe it was something like that.  Maybe that's why the green of the recenty watered yards seemed electric that morning.  Maybe I couldn't smell every flower as I drove by them.  It doesn't really matter if it was all in my head or not though, it's how it happened.

     The plastic seat was hot, sticky as if melted by the sun.  It seared and adheared to my skin, and the burn felt good, because I felt good.  I drove with my window down, the hot air whipping through the car and sucking the stuffiness out.  The signiture sweet-bubblegum-pop-rock of The Beatles spilled from the speakers.

     The ring ting of the tambourine.

     I pulled up into his driveway.

     The sing song of Paul Mcartney's voice.

     I put it in drive as he closed the passenger side door.

     The abracadabra of John Lennon's lyrics.

     I peeled away and drove into the summer.

~

    The bass shook the rear view mirror.  Everything shook when Jake rode shotgun.

    Jake was a year younger than I (me?), but I admired him.  He was always so relaced, at ease with the world.  From the night I met him, barely a month before, I had been enamored.

    We drove no where in particular for an hour in near silence.  Jake broke it when he said, "Do you smoke?"

    I said American Spirits.

    He laughed, "No, I mean, do you smoke weed."

    Oh, I was tempted to lie.  Oh, I was so tempted, but I said, "No."

    Jake turned and looked at me; I kept my gaze on the road.  "Want to?"

    Yeah.

    "Cool."

    Cool.

As I waited in line at the airport to get on the plane that I knew could ruin my life, I found the courage to do it because I had no doubt in my mind that you loved me.  As that same airplane landed in Memphis, a point were I could still turn back, I found the courage to walk to my next gate because I knew you loved me.  When that plane landed in Seattle and I saw you waiting at the luggage claim, I was sure you loved me.  But now, as I wait endlessly for a single word from your lips, I doubt it all.  I doubt all the horrible things you said about your mother.  I doubt all the nights you said you cried yourself to sleep.  I doubt every single whisper of "I love you," that you sent into the electronic void of the telephone.  I question why I committed a felony for you, because of you.  I doubt whether ever word you said was a rope pulling me in further to your world.  This blackhole that consumes everything, but allows nothing to escape.  This abyss that wants everything for herself.  I doubt if I made the right decision.  I doubt if it was worth it in the end.  I doubt if you had your fears but didn't tell me.  I doubt if you ever loved me.

(work in progress)
He says he'll be home by midnight
Don't bother to call
Now he's turning down the boulevard
Looking for a house he's never seen before
A stranger greets him in the doorway
And ushers him inside
There's darkness all around him
And it's feeding off his lies

Another accidental lie
In his accidental life
Another accidental lie
Ends his accidental life

The stranger in the doorway
Is stranger than he seemed
Consumed by rage and passion
He ties up their son

Another accidental lie
In his accidental life
Another accidental lie
Ends their accidental life

The silence in the car is heavy like humidity
The awkwardness between us provides a sense of humility
With your body next to mine it's a miracle I can breathe
Your sigh is barely audible to me

Are you nervous?
Are you scared?
Do I make you tremble with my stare?
Are you wary?
Are you weak?
Does this pretense burden you like me?

I imagine you lips feel like gossamer
Soft and oh so frail
In my mind you skin tastes like milk and honey like the holy land

I am nervous
I am scared
You make me tremble with your stare
I am wary
And I am weak
This pretense burdens me so heavily

I'm reading The Magician's Nephew, and researching Narnia.  These lyrics came into my head:

Maybe we'll travel by wardrobe

Maybe we'll save the world

Maybe we're meant for something better

Than the things we predict will unfold

I'm the catastrophe

Rising from the boiling sea

My tidal surge or wrath

Floods the homes of sinners

Bow before my act of attrition

I purge the earth

The Golden Calf falls

I scourge the land

Fire consumes the Lambs

Salvation.  It's been a long time since I felt my heart breaking with such power.  Last night I was invited to church, and against all odds I went.  As we sang our praises to the Lord I began to mourn.  The pastor spoke the Lord's words, and I was moved to action.  At invitation I stood, and I took Kristine by the hand.  As I made my way to the wing to pray away from the group I felt the Holy Spirit wash over me and wrap me in his sweet grace.  I offered my soul to God, and he accepted me with open arms.  The tears cleansed my soul of my sins, making me new, making me good, making me whole.

How did you pick your Vox name? Does it mean something? 
Submitted by LeendaDLL.  

My name is kind of a play on words.  I wanted a name that would expression my reason for blogging and writing in gerneral.  I want to infect people with my writing so I came up with Pendemic and alternative to pandemic.

(1)

Strong line of his jaw

A diamond stud in his ear

The curve of his lips

They part slowly, form a smile

-To feel the burn of his skin!

(2)

I knead your fingers

Push forcible into skin

Contrasting colors

Caught up in a red moment

Feelings are likely to flee

(3)

Eyes like burnt pumpkin

Skin like living coal

Hands move expertly

(4)

A discrete affair

Hidden inside bathroom walls

Secure the cheap lock

Heat. The only evidence

And a longing left behind

(5)

It's a graveyard heart

A crowded mausoleum

Love in a casket

Last night was Halloween!  I was so excited, but, for the first year ever, I didn't go trick-or-treating or dress up.  I feel like I didn't actually celebrate.

So, I went to the cinema to go see Saw III with some friends, but no one had confirmed when I got there.  Basically I was sitting around hoping that one of them would show up.  I saw someone I knew get in line and buy a ticket, and I asked her if it would be okay if I sat with her and her friends.

She said "Yeah, come on!" and walked inside the cinema.    

I bought my ticket, a drink, and some popcorn and followed them into the theater. I got in there and she was like, "Oh, well I didn't know what I was saying.  I wasn't really paying attention.  We're kind of having a girl's night.  So..."

"Well, that's fine.  I understand.  I just wish you would have told be before I bought the ticket," I said.  I got up and went two rows behind them.  So I spent my Halloween watching a scary movie alone in the theater.  :(

Hopefully next year I'll be in Seattle by Halloween.